Sometimes, I get annoyed. Take, for example, a stroll in a local grocery store. I've fixated on my desire for honeycrisp apples and all I want is said apples. Lo and behold, some pollster walks up to me, microphone in hand and very insistently asks, "Good evening, sir. If you could change any law, what would it be?"

I want my apples. I'm not terribly interested in talking to anyone, let alone being cornered by some dweeb who thinks I might actually care about politics. Honeycrisp apples are the land-loving mother pigeon of all that is good and pure. They're succulent, they're juicy, they're - dare I say crisp... they're well nigh the definition of ambrosia. I frown and reply, "I'd do away with Newton's Law of Universal Gravitation - something about my new found misanthropy and sending everyone careening off into the cold reaches of outer space to die alone and afraid, their frozen, bloated corpses bobbing listlessly in the near vacuum has some appeal. Sure, some innocents and friends who I'm actually rather fond of would be sacrificed, but ultimately, it's for the best."

She lowers the microphone, a look of stunned, disbelieving defeat on her face. I retrieve my apples and am content. Oddly enough, they're the best tasting apples I've ever had.